Feb 8, 2015
I just got trolled by a flea landing in my g&t.
Really? I mean fucking really. It seems unAustralian. Or Australian as the case may be.
Lots of firsts have happened.
First night without her.
First morning waking up.
First time hearing a dog bark in the distance and realising it can’t be her.
First time of hearing a noise in the house and the small breaking inside that comes when I remember it can’t be her.
First trip away interstate and coming home to an empty house.
First time watching friend’s play with their dogs and pushing down that little child within that feels resentful.
Please don’t ask me if I want to get another dog. What am I – 5 years old? A new puppy isn’t going to make it better. I lost a best friend.
It doesn’t make me feel better that she ‘had a good innings’ … or whatever well meaning platitudes have been on repeat. The fact that she had a wonderful and adventurous life with lots of love is great.
The fact that her generous spirit and beautiful littledogheart had to deal with debilitating pain, and black cancer as her reward for a loving life fills me with resentment.